Basically you need to amplify your personality traits. Who are you as a person? What kind of music do you listen to? What kind of activities do you like to partake in? A person who likes to play soccer may wear shorts, Reebok shoes, a soccer jersey, and have no particular haircut. On the other hand someone associated with the "hardcore" music scene (boy or girl) would probably wear "skinnies", t-shirts with their favorite bands name on it, van shoes, and have lip piercings. The people you see on a daily basis aren't actors and they aren't trying to put on a show for the world. Their just normal people being themselves.
The next step is to work on your verbal communication skills. Make sure you NEVER use too much physical gestures during a conversation. A conversation should be 60%-80% verbal communication, 20%-40% physical communication, and 100% confidence. Everything you do should resonate confidence, not cockiness. Keep an eye out for awkward silences and stray from using "creeper" lines. A conversation should never be started with "Nice weather we're having today isn't it?" or "Come here often?" because these will already ensure a point loss. Not to worry though, if you aren't the best speaker and an awkward silence does occur you can always make those points up by creating a sense of interest in other person. If it's a first time conversation try to keep it from lasting more than 15 minutes. The way a first time conversation should go is as follows:
- Open the conversation. Anything ranging from a simple hello to asking where a location is at will work.
- Tell them a little about yourself but avoid conflict: Never bring up testy topics such as abortion or the death penalty during a first conversation. You haven't even built a stable support system for the relationship yet, imagine what would happen if your opinions differed greatly!
- Ask a few questions about the other person but make sure that you don't put the spotlight on them just yet! They know about themselves already, keep them interested in what you have to say.
- Find a way to close up the conversation without just cutting it off.
- Say your goodbyes, maybe ask for their number or a way to contact them so that you can spend time together in the future. If they give you something then you're in, you've made a new friend and more are sure to follow. If they give you nothing then suck it up and move on to the next person.
That's all I have for this post. I'll be back later to cover a new topic. Thank you for reading! I hope to see you back soon.
Very Respectfully,
Marcus Jimenez